Awareness Comes Randomly

Every morning, my routine starts out the same way. I slowly get out of bed to feed my kitten who is eagerly ready for me to feed her and then play with her for twenty minutes or more. Some mornings we play chase the catnip filled brown mouse on a string, and sometimes it’s the ratty blue octopus that’s missing a leg or two. (My personal favorite, but I’m always a fan of the underdog).

Afterwards, when the kitten gets tired and is ready to go back to sleep, it’s then time to go and water my plants outside. That takes awhile, bending to fill the container with water, giving them plant food, etc. It was much easier when I was younger, but then what wasn’t?

So, now the kitten has been fed, the plants have been fed, and I can see the sunlight starting to come out and take away the darkness of the quiet morning.

Waking up early has always been one of my favorite things. It’s intimate, and very peaceful. Aside from being dark out, it’s quite poetic and extremely relaxing. And I think to myself, it’s a new day. Another chance to be a better person, to be happy for all that I have and thank God and his universe for letting me be here one more day.

This morning, as I woke up thinking that sometimes I feel that I have too many “things” in my life that require attention. The awareness is very real, and it often overwhelms my emotions to the point that I worry that I just can’t do it all or be everything to everybody. I can over-think my responsibilities to the point that I start to have a panic attack and begin to make myself sick with worry. It’s familiar territory, that I wish wasn’t.

Luckily for me, I wasn’t feel that way this morning.

I thought to myself, how lucky I was to have such a wonderful and playful kitten in my life now. She purrs whenever I pick her up in my arms, and she shares her toys with me everyday. The plants may take more attention than I had thought, but in return they give me pretty flowers to look at, and so far, a lot of tomatoes! So many that I can share them with people that I love.

I sometimes complain to myself that I have too many people around me that need attention too. As we are all getting older, some of us need more help. Taking family members to and from their doctor appointments, helping to figure out what medical supplies may be needed to help their lives to be a bit easier. Spending less time doing what I want to do, because there is someone else that needs my help.

But today, I woke up and thought, “I’m so lucky to have these people in my life, as my family, as my friends, and what would I be without any of them?”

It’s these unexpected discoveries that bring happiness into my heart, and keeps me sane. All of the “things” that I sometimes think are too much to deal with, are clearly so valuable to my life. I’m devoted to them.

And I appreciate each of them, for all of their voices bring me to a better place within my own heart.

So I encourage anyone else who sometimes feels that they have too much responsibility in their life to try this. Just sit down, block out all noise and negative thoughts. Trust that your heart will tell you, that you are blessed for having so many attachments to others around you, and that in one way or another, they are each an inspiration to help you become a better person because they make you think of others besides yourself. Clearly, whatever is in your life, is there for a reason. It’s up to you to decide….do you let it wear you down? Or do you let it make you stronger and learn from it?

My little Izzy is purring, and keeps chewing on my toes for attention. She doesn’t like it when I’m at the computer this long. So, it’s time to go, for now.

In about an hour, I’ll call my mom (the first of three phone calls that I make to her each day, seven days a week because she likes to know that I’m thinking of her.) to tell her good morning, see how she’s feeling. Then, I’ll start thinking of all the chores I have to do before the beginning of the week. Maybe, somewhere in there, I’ll find some time to either read or write a little. But if I don’t, it’s okay. There’s always tomorrow, right?

This feeling that some things can wait, and it’s alright if I can’t do everything that I may want to do that day. It’s not the end of the world. I may be needed elsewhere. And that’s okay.

*Smiling because I’m feeling blessed*

I guess this sort of feeling comes with experience…..and with age. It’s an awareness that I know of now, but didn’t pay attention to when I was younger because I was too busy doing other “things”. I may be an “old” gal, but I’m one with family I love, friends that I cherish, a kitten that I pray will grow older with me, and so many tomatoes that I have to give them away! I just can’t eat them all!

And giving is good, don’t you think so?

Peace.

About izzysmomma1

I'm just a person trying to enjoy this life one day at a time. I like helping others, and love animals. I enjoy reading just about anything, and like all types of music. I enjoy gardening (I can keep a plant alive for a pretty long time in most cases), and my favorite colors are green, brown, and cosmic pink. I like to write, have self published one book, and working on two more currently. This may be my last journey, so I'm trying to get it right!
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1 Response to Awareness Comes Randomly

  1. Carol Konwin says:

    WONDERFUL!

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