Before I went to bed last night, I searched through my choices of “sleep sounds” on my phone. Often I chose a combination of a running river sound, with either crickets or birds, and some light thunder to try and fall asleep to. There’s even the choice of a woman’s voice humming a baby’s lullaby on there, but for some reason, I find that one sort of creepy. But last night, I picked only one sound, an oceans waves to try and help me sleep. It helped, but I still went to sleep with a worried mind.
Recently, my mother-in-law visited. We had a nice time as we were celebrating her birthday. But then, something unusual happened. While we were out, she suddenly felt ill, as if she were going to faint. She got some fresh air, sat for a moment, and although this feeling lasted for awhile, she did start to feel better. But it worried me. And later that night, I wondered, what would happen if she were alone at home and this happened? Has it happened already? Should I be doing something so that I live closer to her in a case of emergency?
I think this way about a few of my friends too. What if they became ill and needed help? Do they know that they can count on me to be there for them? Even if it’s just to hear them complain about what’s bothering them, or to hold their hand if they are feeling down. I am here for them.
Living alone can be a great time in someone’s life. You don’t always need to be in a relationship to be happy or comfortable with yourself. Lots of people are quite happy being by themselves. Even I enjoy sleeping alone every once in awhile, being able to stretch out in any direction without the fear of kicking someone in the stomach or worst! (And I’ve been known to even kick off a cat or two off of the bed, totally by accident!)
But we all need that human contact in one form or another. Whether it’s having the television on just to hear people talking, or listening to music, or “chatting” with people on our computers. We need to feel connected when we’re feeling happy, and even more when we’re sad or feeling ill.
Sometimes, all we need to do is to pick up a phone, and call someone. Ask how someone’s doing today, let them know that you’re just checking in to make sure that they are still hanging in there, etc. Let that person know that you were just thinking about them for no reason. And if they want to talk about what’s on their mind, great! But don’t be disappointed if they may not feel like talking to you at that moment and don’t take it personal. We all have our moods and perhaps you got them on a bad day. Don’t make any judgments, just accept how they are feeling and try to reach out to them another time.
It’s hard for me not to worry about my family, my friends. I wish that I was able to give them all everything that they needed to be happy. I wished that we all lived on the same block so that way if one needed something, all I had to do was toss on a t-shirt, some shorts, and walk over to see them in less than ten minutes. (Fifteen minutes if I had to put on some make-up first).
But real life isn’t like that. This isn’t “Sex In The City”, or “Desperate Housewives”. (But, I’d love to be Carrie Bradshaw for a week!).
We don’t live close, but close enough that a car or a plane ride can brings us together. And I try and stay in touch by phone calls, texts, or emails and the computer social pages. But spending that time in person, face to face, gives me memories that I’ll never be able to forget.
Although I’ll still worry about them, about our futures as we each get older, it’s good to know that I have them here with me now. And when I hear their voices, it comforts me. Especially the laughter. The laughs we share are truly priceless.
It’s the unknown that worries me sometimes. But I guess that’s what prayers are for. And I take much comfort in the fact that I believe in prayers.
Kind of funny, isn’t it? To worry about the unknown, and yet, trust in the mystery of prayers.
That’s just the kinda girl I am.